Sometimes I just feel... what I do is not enough isit?
I'm so tired....
Someone told me, soon... soon you'll be alright. Once you pass this circle in life, you're stronger. Just remember nothing is permanent....
But some things are... memories.........................
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
My Last Day @ ISEC
While I was counting down my days @ ISEC, I wanted to try all de food that I wouldnt much have the chance to eat again....
Nasi Lemak + Nasi Kerabu is my favourite... especially on a Saturday morning for breakfast!
Homemade Lin Chee Kang is by my colleague which I gave her de recipe...
Chatime is the famous bubble we all crave for... until the minister ask to send these things for test!
Then I have my colleague a.k.a kai ma who gave me a pendant.. its cute!
Its a little high heel shoe (as I like shoes very much!) Its really pretty and special to me...
All in all, their friendship to me is my achievement in life, and I'm proud of myself, I left footprint in their hearts too. I made them a little memo clip thingy!
They have been good to me. Be it @ work or who knows me personally. I'm glad this is a good working and learning experience. With dedicated drs and colleagues who taught me everything from scratch. I truly enjoyed my experience here and I really hope I can keep in touch with them.
Homemade Lin Chee Kang is by my colleague which I gave her de recipe...
Chatime is the famous bubble we all crave for... until the minister ask to send these things for test!
Then I have my colleague a.k.a kai ma who gave me a pendant.. its cute!
Its a little high heel shoe (as I like shoes very much!) Its really pretty and special to me...
All in all, their friendship to me is my achievement in life, and I'm proud of myself, I left footprint in their hearts too. I made them a little memo clip thingy!
They have been good to me. Be it @ work or who knows me personally. I'm glad this is a good working and learning experience. With dedicated drs and colleagues who taught me everything from scratch. I truly enjoyed my experience here and I really hope I can keep in touch with them.
Once my colleague, but forever my friends!
Monday, June 20, 2011
我今年二十六岁（改篇版）
我今年二十六歲，
每天起床的時間從中午12點變成早上7點，睡覺的時間從凌晨變成了晚上11點；
我今年二十六歲，見到親戚朋友，他們不再問你考試考了幾分，是問現在一個月薪水多少，男朋友有了沒有啊；
我今年二十六歲，
聊天的話題變成名牌、旅游、汽車、房子；朋友聚会討論的往往是他準備結婚，她哪年結婚了
我今年二十六歲，
我們開始追逐夢想，不會再為了一點挫折而放棄；
我今年二十六歲，
遇到的挫折困難都當成一種人生的閱歷，試著去包容，試著去忍耐；
我今年二十六歲，
偶爾會有寂寞，偶爾會掛念一個人；
我今年二十六歲，
明明很想哭，卻還在笑。
明明很在乎，卻裝作無所謂。
明明很想留下，卻堅定的說要離開。
明明忘不掉，卻說已經忘了。
明明捨不得，卻說我已經受夠了。
明明眼淚都快流出眼眶，卻高昂著頭。
明明已經無法挽回，卻依舊執著。
明明知道自己很受傷，卻說你不必覺得虧欠我。
為的只是不让别人觉得自己讲不听，对别人造成无形的压力和难为；即使很難過，也不願別人看見自己的傷口，不想讓自己周圍的人擔心，不想讓別人同情自己，只想在心底獨自承受， 雖然心疼的難以呼吸，卻笑著告訴所有人“我熬过了！”我們在一條偉大的航路上，被社會上壓的喘不過氣的時候，我們渴望曾經的那份愛，渴望每天下班了能有個人一起吃飯，一起看電影，我們需要一個人來為我們分擔些東西。
你，有沒有這樣的時候？
莫名的心情不好，不想和任何人說話，只想一個人靜靜發呆，懷念著因為歲月流逝去的人和事。
你，有沒有這樣的時候？發現身邊的人都不了解自己，面對著身邊的人，突然覺得說不出話。
你，有沒有這樣的時候？
突然感覺自己與世界格格不入，你曾經一直堅持的東西一夜之間面目全非。
你，有沒有這樣的時候？
突然很想逃離現在的生活，想不顧一切收拾自己簡單的行李去流浪。
你，有沒有這樣的時候？
在自己脆弱的時候，想一個人躲起來，不願別人看到自己的傷口。
你，有沒有這樣的時候？
明明自己身邊很多朋友，卻依然覺得孤單。
你，有沒有這樣的時候？
很想放縱自己， 希望自己徹徹底底醉一次。
你，有沒有這樣的時候？
自己的夢想很多，卻力不從心。
好累…好累………
每天起床的時間從中午12點變成早上7點，睡覺的時間從凌晨變成了晚上11點；
我今年二十六歲，見到親戚朋友，他們不再問你考試考了幾分，是問現在一個月薪水多少，男朋友有了沒有啊；
我今年二十六歲，
聊天的話題變成名牌、旅游、汽車、房子；朋友聚会討論的往往是他準備結婚，她哪年結婚了
我今年二十六歲，
我們開始追逐夢想，不會再為了一點挫折而放棄；
我今年二十六歲，
遇到的挫折困難都當成一種人生的閱歷，試著去包容，試著去忍耐；
我今年二十六歲，
偶爾會有寂寞，偶爾會掛念一個人；
我今年二十六歲，
明明很想哭，卻還在笑。
明明很在乎，卻裝作無所謂。
明明很想留下，卻堅定的說要離開。
明明忘不掉，卻說已經忘了。
明明捨不得，卻說我已經受夠了。
明明眼淚都快流出眼眶，卻高昂著頭。
明明已經無法挽回，卻依舊執著。
明明知道自己很受傷，卻說你不必覺得虧欠我。
為的只是不让别人觉得自己讲不听，对别人造成无形的压力和难为；即使很難過，也不願別人看見自己的傷口，不想讓自己周圍的人擔心，不想讓別人同情自己，只想在心底獨自承受， 雖然心疼的難以呼吸，卻笑著告訴所有人“我熬过了！”我們在一條偉大的航路上，被社會上壓的喘不過氣的時候，我們渴望曾經的那份愛，渴望每天下班了能有個人一起吃飯，一起看電影，我們需要一個人來為我們分擔些東西。
你，有沒有這樣的時候？
莫名的心情不好，不想和任何人說話，只想一個人靜靜發呆，懷念著因為歲月流逝去的人和事。
你，有沒有這樣的時候？發現身邊的人都不了解自己，面對著身邊的人，突然覺得說不出話。
你，有沒有這樣的時候？
突然感覺自己與世界格格不入，你曾經一直堅持的東西一夜之間面目全非。
你，有沒有這樣的時候？
突然很想逃離現在的生活，想不顧一切收拾自己簡單的行李去流浪。
你，有沒有這樣的時候？
在自己脆弱的時候，想一個人躲起來，不願別人看到自己的傷口。
你，有沒有這樣的時候？
明明自己身邊很多朋友，卻依然覺得孤單。
你，有沒有這樣的時候？
很想放縱自己， 希望自己徹徹底底醉一次。
你，有沒有這樣的時候？
自己的夢想很多，卻力不從心。
好累…好累………
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
值得 - Sammi
关于你好的坏的都已经听说
愿意深陷的是我没有确定的以后
没有谁祝福我反而想要勇敢接受
爱到哪里都会有人犯错希望错的不是我
其实心中没有退路可守 跟著你错 跟著你走
愿意深陷的是我没有确定的以后
没有谁祝福我反而想要勇敢接受
爱到哪里都会有人犯错希望错的不是我
其实心中没有退路可守 跟著你错 跟著你走
我们的故事 爱就爱到值得 错也错的值得
爱到翻天覆地也会有结果 不等你说更美的承诺
我可以对自己承诺
我们的故事爱就爱到值得 错也错的值得
是执著是洒脱留给别人去说
用尽所有力气不是为我 那是为你才这么做
用尽所有力气不是为我 那是为你才这么做
Sunday, June 12, 2011
When I wish upon the star
Nothing came true.
It wasn't an enjoyable weekend for me. Again, I sacrificed a few things, made some arrangements, cancelled some dates just to make this short trip possible. The chat was ok. I'm glad it didn't turn out awkward. I was afraid we had nothing to say but in the end, we could chat from food to houses to plans and hopes. What upsets me is that there were no longer chemistry... not a tiny spark! Haiz, of course, i put on hopes because I made sacrifices.
Everytime there's an activity to do.. I'm like doing it alone. No sense of pleasure and enjoyment. The feeling like, i could have used my weekend to do something better. At least made myself laugh....
Grace Lee, this is to tell you, think twice next time, is this friendship worth your effort anymore! Next time an invitation or offer comes, please look back at today's experience and think for yourself, if he would have done any of this for you?
It wasn't an enjoyable weekend for me. Again, I sacrificed a few things, made some arrangements, cancelled some dates just to make this short trip possible. The chat was ok. I'm glad it didn't turn out awkward. I was afraid we had nothing to say but in the end, we could chat from food to houses to plans and hopes. What upsets me is that there were no longer chemistry... not a tiny spark! Haiz, of course, i put on hopes because I made sacrifices.
Everytime there's an activity to do.. I'm like doing it alone. No sense of pleasure and enjoyment. The feeling like, i could have used my weekend to do something better. At least made myself laugh....
Grace Lee, this is to tell you, think twice next time, is this friendship worth your effort anymore! Next time an invitation or offer comes, please look back at today's experience and think for yourself, if he would have done any of this for you?
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Decision made
When I already made my decision, dun divert me to another direction....!
I sort of "small cry" today. My colleagues start to know about my resignation and asked me to stay, or many of them ask why I'm leaving. My boss sort of hinted me that he wanted a long chat with me to find out what's wrong. I'm sad and torn. Its a great place to work at, its a great company with great people to work together with! Still the reason why I'm leaving is I want to pursue something closer to my field I studied. Something that can make me grow.
I remember when I first joined, one day during lunch, my boss ask "So what do you tink abt tis company, is there alot of ppl bitching around or gossiping non-stop? or back stabbing?" I said no. Cos I really think everyone worked well with each other. My boss asked "how u know, this' ur first job, u haven't seen the rest"... But until now that i'm leaving, still the answer is "no"... this is really a great company built on friendship, not just as colleagues! We're one big group of people who dun mind spending time together even after working hours.
不舍得sure will have...I will handle that my own. But dun come and ask me to consider another department, or negotiate for higher pay... WTF? This is from those who in the first place encourage me to leave now asking me to do like dat...dun try to confuse me. I'm lacking confident and I want very much for people to support me so that I know even if this new job fail, I will have you to stand by me.
I'm honestly very nervous right now....
I sort of "small cry" today. My colleagues start to know about my resignation and asked me to stay, or many of them ask why I'm leaving. My boss sort of hinted me that he wanted a long chat with me to find out what's wrong. I'm sad and torn. Its a great place to work at, its a great company with great people to work together with! Still the reason why I'm leaving is I want to pursue something closer to my field I studied. Something that can make me grow.
I remember when I first joined, one day during lunch, my boss ask "So what do you tink abt tis company, is there alot of ppl bitching around or gossiping non-stop? or back stabbing?" I said no. Cos I really think everyone worked well with each other. My boss asked "how u know, this' ur first job, u haven't seen the rest"... But until now that i'm leaving, still the answer is "no"... this is really a great company built on friendship, not just as colleagues! We're one big group of people who dun mind spending time together even after working hours.
不舍得sure will have...I will handle that my own. But dun come and ask me to consider another department, or negotiate for higher pay... WTF? This is from those who in the first place encourage me to leave now asking me to do like dat...dun try to confuse me. I'm lacking confident and I want very much for people to support me so that I know even if this new job fail, I will have you to stand by me.
I'm honestly very nervous right now....
Tension of Opposites
Its been awhile since I last updated my blog. I have been busy, yes - going here and there. Finding life's second options, complaint and complaint and complaint summore. I'm honest that I still dun feel satisfy with my life. I dun get answers to my questions when i needed the most.
I have been looking for a new direction since early this year. I wanted a change in my job. I can't get a man, so might as well die rich...so tat's what my brother say. I love everything about my job right now...only thing is flat... no more rhythm, no more tempo. I need a change.. and I was so desperate that I almost applied for any job tat I come across. When I got no notice, i considered lowering my expected salary, still no news, I decided to erase my Master's qualification off the resume. Wasted u tink? I wish my frens would understand how bad i feel but i dun need you to make me feel even worse! Because when i told my frens i couldn't find a job, they'll usually say "Masters wor?"... So?
Master's right now is only a very normal certificate, printed on the same kind of paper quality and using the same school chop! I know I know, i wasted my time (1yr still ok la), I wasted my money (was on scholarship, so ok as well), wasted my effort on a guy who later left me right after I finish my Masters.
Anyway, then all of a sudden, all the offers came. Was busy going every where for interview. Then spent time on the phone, talking to different panels for opinion. On one hand I was excited that at last I got an option to change, on the other hand now I really have to deal with leaving my comfort zone. I'm basically leaving what I already have for something that I'm not certain of. I duno if I'm goin to succeed in this new future. What if I dun like it? What if this is not my expertise? Change again?
I was very much in a dilemma whether to jump for the opportunity or not.I need a back up plan. I ask "what is the worse that could happen? what do I do then?"
To take or not to take?
I have been looking for a new direction since early this year. I wanted a change in my job. I can't get a man, so might as well die rich...so tat's what my brother say. I love everything about my job right now...only thing is flat... no more rhythm, no more tempo. I need a change.. and I was so desperate that I almost applied for any job tat I come across. When I got no notice, i considered lowering my expected salary, still no news, I decided to erase my Master's qualification off the resume. Wasted u tink? I wish my frens would understand how bad i feel but i dun need you to make me feel even worse! Because when i told my frens i couldn't find a job, they'll usually say "Masters wor?"... So?
Master's right now is only a very normal certificate, printed on the same kind of paper quality and using the same school chop! I know I know, i wasted my time (1yr still ok la), I wasted my money (was on scholarship, so ok as well), wasted my effort on a guy who later left me right after I finish my Masters.
Anyway, then all of a sudden, all the offers came. Was busy going every where for interview. Then spent time on the phone, talking to different panels for opinion. On one hand I was excited that at last I got an option to change, on the other hand now I really have to deal with leaving my comfort zone. I'm basically leaving what I already have for something that I'm not certain of. I duno if I'm goin to succeed in this new future. What if I dun like it? What if this is not my expertise? Change again?
I was very much in a dilemma whether to jump for the opportunity or not.I need a back up plan. I ask "what is the worse that could happen? what do I do then?"
To take or not to take?
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