Decision made

When I already made my decision, dun divert me to another direction....!
I sort of "small cry" today. My colleagues start to know about my resignation and asked me to stay, or many of them ask why I'm leaving. My boss sort of hinted me that he wanted a long chat with me to find out what's wrong. I'm sad and torn. Its a great place to work at, its a great company with great people to work together with! Still the reason why I'm leaving is I want to pursue something closer to my field I studied. Something that can make me grow.
I remember when I first joined, one day during lunch, my boss ask "So what do you tink abt tis company, is there alot of ppl bitching around or gossiping non-stop? or back stabbing?" I said no. Cos I really think everyone worked well with each other. My boss asked "how u know, this' ur first job, u haven't seen the rest"... But until now that i'm leaving, still the answer is "no"... this is really a great company built on friendship, not just as colleagues! We're one big group of people who dun mind spending time together even after working hours.
不舍得sure will have...I will handle that my own. But dun come and ask me to consider another department, or negotiate for higher pay... WTF? This is from those who in the first place encourage me to leave now asking me to do like dat...dun try to confuse me. I'm lacking confident and I want very much for people to support me so that I know even if this new job fail, I will have you to stand by me.
I'm honestly very nervous right now....

Tension of Opposites

Its been awhile since I last updated my blog. I have been busy, yes - going here and there. Finding life's second options, complaint and complaint and complaint summore. I'm honest that I still dun feel satisfy with my life. I dun get answers to my questions when i needed the most.
I have been looking for a new direction since early this year. I wanted a change in my job. I can't get a man, so might as well die rich...so tat's what my brother say. I love everything about my job right now...only thing is flat... no more rhythm, no more tempo. I need a change.. and I was so desperate that I almost applied for any job tat I come across. When I got no notice, i considered lowering my expected salary, still no news, I decided to erase my Master's qualification off the resume. Wasted u tink? I wish my frens would understand how bad i feel but i dun need you to make me feel even worse! Because when i told my frens i couldn't find a job, they'll usually say "Masters wor?"... So?
Master's right now is only a very normal certificate, printed on the same kind of paper quality and using the same school chop! I know I know, i wasted my time (1yr still ok la), I wasted my money (was on scholarship, so ok as well), wasted my effort on a guy who later left me right after I finish my Masters.
Anyway, then all of a sudden, all the offers came. Was busy going every where for interview. Then spent time on the phone, talking to different panels for opinion. On one hand I was excited that at last I got an option to change, on the other hand now I really have to deal with leaving my comfort zone. I'm basically leaving what I already have for something that I'm not certain of. I duno if I'm goin to succeed in this new future. What if I dun like it? What if this is not my expertise? Change again?
I was very much in a dilemma whether to jump for the opportunity or not.I need a back up plan. I ask "what is the worse that could happen? what do I do then?"
To take or not to take?

Surprises

I love the feeling of surprises... its truly something that shows the meaning of "action speaks louder than words"... a simple surprise keeps the memory much more than something u give as a gift. Of course, there are also people who dun have much "talent" in preparing surprises, but remember these are the people whom, when they give a surprise, it means even more!!!

I'd always like to give people surprises whenever I can...and I've seen quite a few memorable ones, but never Once on me. In fact, i almost din get any. In fact, i've always been the one preparing my own birthdays celebration, for fear nobody will "date" me... haha, and birthday only come once! Just recently, I celebrated a friend's birthday, by cheating him to dinner (using no dinner at home as an excuse-lame)then bring out the cute little cupcakes... and a hand sewn pillow (totally 100% hand made from raw materials)... I enjoy the process of preparing, and obviously love it when I see those smiles.. its worth it!

Another one was a handbag I bought for my sister (she asked for it). The bag comes with a few function and style, so I decided for my whole family to pose with diff style of taking the handbag.. make it like a menu book then post it to my sister, who's in JB. Aha, she called the moment she opened the box!!!

Yesterday was mother's day. I had been thinking a while ago, what else could be special after my 25 years on earth! So i bought a bouquet of roses (fake - sponge type), bought a beautiful pearl necklace. Because of a dinner function on Sat night, I had to travel 5.30am in the morning back to Seremban (need to be home before mom wakes up for church). Open the door quietly, set out breakfast on table with the bouquet and necklace on the table and went to sleep in the next room. Of course my mom was damn surprise to find me back home, and all the "things" on the table...she definitely love it...

My next project? My brother's birthday this Sunday. I've already found the perfect gift for him - a special dining experience for him & his wife!


p/s: Sometimes I think, I'd make a good boyfriend ;p

Edited Version

A good fren of mine gave me this brilliant idea!

Once upon a time,


I WONDER WHY...... (Del Shannon)
As I walk along I wonder what went wrong
I'm a-walkin' in the rain
Tears are fallin' and I feel the pain

BREAKING MY HEART.......(MLTR)

There is no excuse my friend

For breaking my heart again

This is where our journey ends

You're breaking my heart again

IT MUST HAVE BEEN LOVE....(Roxette)

It must have been love, but it's over now
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow
I wake up lonely, in this air of silence

Now I learned,

 

FIGHTER.........(Christina)

Makes me that much stronger

Makes me work a little bit harder

Makes me that much wiser

Thanks for making me a fighter

 

 

 

 

 

BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY.....(Fergie)

The path that I'm walking, I must go alone

I've gotta get move on with my life

Its time to be a big girl now

and BIG girls don't cry

 

 

 

you're not IRREPLACEABLE.....(Beyonce)

You must not know bout me

I can have another you by tomorrow

So don't you ever for a second

get to thinking you're irreplaceable

What happen next?......

 

 

 

LIFE GOES ON (Leann Rimes)

Its only gonna make me strong

Is my life before me and 

I know I can still go back

Life goes on

 

 

GOTTA BE SOMEBODY (Nickelback)

Coz nobody wants 2be the last one thr
Evryone wants 2feel like some1 cares
Somebody that feels the same
There's gotta be somebody for 

me out there

 

 

SINGLE LADIES.... (Beyonce)

All you single ladies

Now put your hands up

Up in da club  Just broke up

Doin my own lil thing

Ok, I'm gonna have to do my own things dy... Chiaw~

Mission Impossible vs Mission Failed!

那天还兴致勃勃要采取一个“拯救”行动。以为自己勇敢起来。其实我只是想给彼此一个机会。那么难做朋友噢？那么大个人了，面子这样重要吗？
幸好我早有做好心理准备，知道自己蛮天真，相信他是个好人。我尝试了，却没有回应。Ok,收工。。。我已经踏出那一步了，我不需要做到刮花自己的脸，跪在地上。当然一开始应该很多人都认为不用多此一举了吧！我是那种要做，做到底，不要留一丝后悔。事后有朋友问我死心了没？啊~ 其实啊，有什么好死心的？我只想尽我的能力挽回我觉得值得的友谊。那么事实证明我又再次看错人，那也是对自己的一个交代，和提醒自己，这段我以为很宝贵的友谊，其实经不起考验！没有试过又怎么知道原来那么脆弱？原来是一场游戏，一场梦？
有些友情随着时间改变了，我没有以前那么执著地想“为什么你变了”？只是每当我看见我们，我想告诉你，我内心酸了一下觉得可惜。。。每一年你我都会交换生日礼物，是因为我们还是知己，还是多年来成了习惯？我们已经没有共同的话题，只是还在找对白保持联络。当我知道你为了你爸去世的事多么难过，我想说谁会比我更了解那种不舍和伤痛？我第一时间奔回去，但发觉原来我能做的都已经不够了。然后也因为工作性质和居住的距离，心的距离也跟着遥远了。你喜欢黑咖啡，我爱加糖。一个Gap就是一个Gap。这是随着时间的流逝，再也补不回的空洞.

感动一个人,往往只需要一句话

一位教授每天早晨在街上散步,无论见到任何人, 总是热情地打一声招呼: [早安]
其中一个年轻人叫米勒,对这位教授的问候,起初反映冷漠。但这未曾改变教授对当地人民的热情。每天早晨他仍然给这个一脸冷漠的年轻人道一声早安。终于有一天,这个年轻人脱下帽子,也向教授道一声早安!
很多年以后的某一天,当地人民被一群土匪集中起来,有些是被指去枪毙了...当教授碰上这群土匪,他习惯地脱口而出:[早安]... 这时他们的指挥官站了出来,抬头一望,是米勒先生!米勒虽然一副严肃的脸，却禁不住还了一声问候：[早安]。就这样，教授被释放。。。
人其实是很容易被感动的。往往一声热情的问候，温馨的微笑，很可能让一个不相识的人走近你！
从前我也有过这样的一份感动。一句简单的问候足够点燃我的一天。

那男人对我说: 你脆弱

心很空 天很大 雲很重 我恨孤單 卻趕不走
捧著他的名字 他的喜怒哀樂 往前走 多久了

 

我脆弱 像泡沫碰泡沫 被戳破
像薄膜擠薄膜 快壓破
自信過 像蛋殼被輾過
我還能相信些什麼
當承諾和溫柔都被揮霍

剩我一個人執著 又算什麼

他 漸漸忘了我 但是他並不曉得
遍體鱗傷的我 一天也沒再愛過

 一個人心中只有一個寶貝 久了之後 他變成了眼淚

那麼 為什麼是我 我真的脆弱
為什麼 我不覺得快樂 也不覺得難過
為什麼而活 愛又算什麼
好多假動作 我們都寂寞