Baby Janice

I present to you, my cute lil niece - Janice On...

I couldnt recall how many times she just made me smile :)

Not becoz she's a baby, but becoz so happen every time I'm sad, she does something special like she knows her ah yee is sad.

Always, we had expect to kiss babies coz they r too cute! But one day, she suddenly just came near me, like very manja... hug me n then put her lips on my cheek! That's de sweetest sweetest sweetest thing she'd ever done...

Now baby Janice is growing bigger n bigger...Oh, so adorable...

N you know why I tink of her now? Coz she's coming home tomorrow.. My bundle of joy is home! So....i gotta go ^^

Toast to my brother

I'm sure those of you who knows me, will know how close my brother is to me. Everytime there's a change in us, I feel sad. The last time I cried was when he went to Singapore.

Today, he's married. First day married. Exchanging vows and signing of marriage certs. Its the first tot in every sister: I lost my brother! Of course there goes the saying too that,# You didn't lose a brother you gained a sister in law.#

I read this online. "Change is hard for everyone. He will be the same brother you love today and the same brother you love tomorrow. It will take a little bit of adjustment thats all".Or, "He's allowed to have his own life, as are you. Sure relationship will change, that's life, but he's still your brother."

N when I came to the part which says, "This is the progression of life. I'm certain he'd love to hear how special he is to you, and how much you miss having him around. You'll leave home too, one day." I CRIED. Yes, he is special to me. Mayb I grew up without a father, he was like a father firgure and a close fren to me.

I remember how I hated to play the piano for him, coz it made me feel tat i'm never good enough. I'd always wanted to let him see my success in something, no matter what that means. So much so that we dun really share when it comes to BG relationship. Until recently, I cried in front of him, when I knew my r'ship was over. He protected me like a big brother. Spend time with me, let me have my space, gave me solutions on how to get over it. Gave me options on how to be a better person. Wanting me to grow up so that I can be independent, knowing that he cant spend so much time with me anymore - Especially now that he's gonna build his own family!

I'm really not sad becos he's "taken over"... but moreover, I will miss him a lot!
Still I wanna share a toast to my brother:

"Daniel,may you and your wife remain lovers, for all of your life.Let your love endure beyond the last sunset, Cheers!"

丁当 - 可以不可以

可不可以让我回到突然长大那一天
那一刻 他的吻改变我的世界
可不可以这个夏天 这些故事能永远
球场边 界外线 我们已越走越远

# 我可以划一个圈 把自己关在里面
把回忆挡在外面
却不能停止想念 在我的天空蔓延
他有的善良和善变
我可以划一个圈 当做是完美句点
还他自由的蓝天
却不能 停止想念 一幕幕甜美画面
如果放弃了这一切
那么在我身体里的灵魂 是谁#

可不可以让我练习心碎时候的想念
等着他已走远才能落下眼泪
可不可以让我消失在地平线这瞬间
哭过了 冷却了 起风了却不能 飞

When can I truly let go?

Wedding bells vs biological clock

Argh! HELP~ tonight I just got to know, one of my close fren is engaged. Another fren is proposing to his Gf soon.From the radio, morning is David's 今天你要嫁给我，evening is 杜德伟's 嫁给我. All bells are ringing including my emergency bell!!!! Oh God, feel so left out.Feel like there's a need to rush. I'm gonna auction myself off.

Cheers to Yvonne, that makes 2 of us now. Study so much for what? All the statistics, logical tinking, psychological effect.... useless! While typing this I already slapped myself twice. Feeling so "gosh".....
Alot of "If I had made my choice wiser"... "If I had mature faster"... "If I had....".... "If I had...."........... 有早知就没乞丐!

really hor, I tink 陈小春's song very suit me now.

上帝會保佑我的　愛情總會來的　
我在夢中一切都有 可惜現實呀　常常是相反的

愛他的女人很多　那我又算什麼　我在雨中喝著悶酒
反正幸福呀　對我是奢侈的

心裡太清楚了　其實他不愛我
奇怪　地球上怎麼會沒有人　看上我

神啊　救救我吧　一把年紀了　一個愛人都沒有
孤獨是可憐的　如果沒愛過　人生是黑白的

神啊　救救我吧　一個人晃了半輩子了　為什麼
我這樣的女人哪　就快要絕種　他呢　又在哪兒

神啊保佑我啊！！！

Butterfly fly away

It sometimes get on my nerve and feel upset over my mom. Its not her nagging, her scolding, her lecturing or anything wrong with me. Sometimes, she just worry over things that she doesnt have too.

When I say I will wake on my own, she still puts her alarm to wake up earlier than me.
When I say I'm gonna have breakfast in office, she will still make oats ready on the table.
When I'm about to leave, she will ask have I got this, have i taken that...... when in fact, over all these years, she knows that out of all her children, I forget things the less, and am well organized. Because I dun like the kinda "Oh, suck, I forget this, then take trouble to find a substitute or live in deep regret for not checking my things"

Sometimes I get angry because she herself oso duno wat is going on and I've got everything all worked out!  I'm just angry over her care, that she loves me too much for me to repay. I'm trying to tell her, I am able. I still need you, but i'm really a big girl now. I can't repay you much, but right now the best I can do is be on my own, not to trouble u when I dun hv to. Coz I start seeing my mom growing old. Start noticing that she deserves more and I'm not able to give her that.

Of coz, all mothers put their children first. but dun look down on me if u see me angry over her. Not becos she loved me less, but becos I loved her too much

Dedicate to you

陈奕讯 - 好久不见

我来到 你的城市 走过你来时的路
想像着 没我的日子 你是怎样的孤独
拿着你 给的照片 熟悉的那一条街
只是没了你的画面 我们回不到那天

你会不会忽然的出现 在街角的咖啡店
我会带着笑脸 挥手寒喧 和你 坐着聊聊天
我多么想和你见一面 看看你最近改变
不再去说从前 只是寒喧 对你说一句
只是说一句 好久不见


I'm letting it go. This is a really sweet song.
Make me feel安慰.Hopefully, one day I am brave enuf to say
好久不见

此刻你心里想起谁

从小就知道自己很感性,很情绪化.所有人与人之间的都对我来说很重要.小时候,很注重family day.所以当姐姐开始上大学,少回家时,我生气.哥哥在外地工作,我难过.到长大了,我逐渐发现朋友越来越少了.不是没去联络.只是大家要的都不一样了.读书时候,大家唯一的目标就是 - 毕业!毕业后,有些人,事业为重.有些人,安稳就好.有些人,工作是额外,explore为主.总之,你得空,人家未必啊,甚至睬你都傻!
结果,我知道了.Moral of the story is:你会做的,人家未必也会这样做.你会想要这样做,是因为你以为换做是别人也会这样做.同样的,人家会有这样的一举一动,因为他们也认为你会这样做.Example,当我有事不开心,不出声.我希望的是人家问我一句"怎么了",我就会全部涌出来.因为如果看到人家突然静了,我会问那一句.但是有些人会让你自己焖个够吧.因为他们本身认为如果他们想静一静,最好别人就别问!
那么,为了让自己不要那么辛苦,就不要为别人做那么多,因为别人不一定会珍惜.除非自己得空到不介意浪费力气.他们不放effort有如定局.知道如果自己也不做什么,分明是等死.但我为什么要委屈自己.不是我要斗气,计较我为朋友付出多少.而是每次的付出换来失望,投诉,拒绝和不满.很累的咧!而我属牛嘛,我如果问一次,两次,都被拒绝,我就是Fine.No more next time.我有那种"为什么要求人? I'm fine if u don't want"的attitude!
唯一让我回头想的是,这段relationship.曾经是最好的朋友.最疯狂的,最贴心的,谁讲他/她半点坏话就是跟我过不去 - 那一种relationship. 现在,我累了.我开始接受我们的是回忆.真的.就是可能都会见到面但是已经share不出什么.所以久而久之,他/她会是可能在我脑海里闪过他说的某句话,或无意中连想起的片段 - 回忆!
同样的.今晚有类似这样的感觉.我知道大家现在忙的不得了,我太得空.约你,你很忙.问太多,人家也不懂该给什么反应好.有时我以为你很忙,可是随口也问一声,原来你已经在外Happy着了.OMG!!!!很"thum"心口咧!
所以啊,今晚让我想起一些失去了,失去中,将会失去,希望不会失去的每一个他/她.每天要为自己找后路.所以有时真的恨不得想换个环境.可以从新建立,又不需要考虑这些放不放弃的relationship.现在还好...希望真的不要让我对我所关心的人,去到一个彻底死心的地步.